Ok, it’s decision time. Do I stay or go?
I can stick with my original plan and leave Cusco in a few days, or I can choose to extend my trip until…whenever.
View of Plaza San Blas from my balcony 🙂
I just moved into an adorable place – a guest room above a cafe in San Blas, one of the most beautiful areas in the city, full of cute shops and narrow cobblestone streets. My room has a private patio overlooking the main square, and I’m a 2 minute walk from a traditional market where I can get a fresh-made pitcher of juice and a breakfast sandwich for less than $3. Plus I have wifi in my room for the first time since I’ve been here (it’s usually just in common areas) – and it’s a decent speed! This gem of a place has put a slightly different spin on Cusco and made me seriously reconsider leaving…
However…
I have to admit: my gut says it’s time to go.
I want to start the next chapter of my life. The life where I put down roots and build something. The life that includes a partner and possibly kids. And I don’t envision that life being here in Peru. I have to (am choosing to) go back eventually, and I know myself enough to know that I need transition time, re-entry time. The sooner I get back to the States, the sooner I can start writing the next chapter of my life.
Plus, the timing of my existing plan is perfect. My parents are sailing out to Catalina and I can join them in Avalon the day after I return. I’ll stay with them Tuesday through Friday, then head back to spend Labor Day with my sister and start readjusting to L.A. During the week, I envision sitting in my favorite beachside cafe, handling some life admin and looking into possible work/living options. Then I head up to S.F. on Friday (flight already booked) to attend a good friend’s wedding on a ranch in Calistoga… Not a bad way to readjust to “real life,” eh… 😉
There are also practical reasons, like running out of meds and contacts or having to invest in a wardrobe of warmer clothes. But I don’t want those things to be the reasons why I leave. They’re challenges that can be overcome relatively easily with a good dose of creativity, resourcefulness and fortitude. And those I have in spades. (I can also see where the novelty and charm of my cafe life would wear off pretty quickly and little annoyances and anxieties would creep in – but again, I don’t want those things to drive my decision-making.)
My decision will not be made based on reasons or excuses. It will be made powerfully based on MY choice, not external circumstances.
This experience has proven that I can create a life wherever I choose to go. If I like, I can get right back on a plane and return. (I mean, really. All it takes is a ticket, which costs about $800 one way.) Or I can set up shop in some other place at some other time. All I have to do is decide. It’s simple, really. We complicate things, but in truth it all comes down to determining what’s important to you and committing to it, then making decisions and taking action accordingly.
The magical thing is that when you do, you build faith that everything works out. It strips away the fear that keeps so many people living “lives of quiet desperation.” You become someone strong and powerful, knowing that you are the master of your life. I continuously find that the more I put myself out there, take risks, push my own limits and follow my gut, the more I experience firsthand that Life/God/The Universe DOES provide. Beautifully. Elegantly. Abundantly. And in ways that go beyond anything you would imagine.
So the teacher/mom/inspirational speaker in me has to say… If there’s anything that has been calling you, take it on. Guaranteed that if you do, you’ll be rewarded.
In that spirit, I’m choosing to return home and take on the challenge of creating the life I want. That’s what’s speaking to me now. Until then, I’ll be appreciating EVERY minute!
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PS – I reserve the right to change my mind. 😉
